“Let’s take a look at RDU’s shirt, see how it differs from a normal shirt.” —Kripparian, 2014
While dorks dressing themselves can never quite live up to the beautiful spectacle of nerds who are dressed by Korean television producers, I felt it was my duty as the foremost leading world expert on Hearthstone fashion to bring you some hard-hitting coverage of last weekend’s open tournament at Dreamhack Bucharest, delayed somewhat by the late release of the official English VODs.
The looks sported by both players and casters fall into three main categories:
- Guys who care how they look
- Guys who just wear whatever
- Guys who don’t have a choice in what to wear
RDU, pictured above at left, is the rare overlap between categories 1 and 3; though he has to wear his team jersey to the event, he’s wearing green pants because why the fuck not I guess. (He’s also kiiind of a cutie.) (Frodan, far right, is the archetypal 1; while Kripparian, in the middle, is basically the epitome of 2.)
More examples of each type of player, game spoilers, and thirstier jokes, below the jump.
It was actually pretty difficult to adequately screenshot this beautiful colorblocked shirt worn by Amaz, the shirt itself looked very fantastic at the same moments as Amaz himself was making some very derpy faces. But, like, look at that thing. I think I learned more about how seam placement affects fabric movement from watching this shirt on stream than I did from my entire two-thirds of a degree in fashion. Plus, it has a built-in gingham vest. Very swag.
I guess Gaara falls in this category too, even though his shirt is WAY too big. The main thing about Gaara, though, is that I watched all his games before I watched any of his interviews, due to some earlier “bootlegged” videos from a fan who finds the game itself more engaging than players’ personalities, and I found his shirt super confusing from the side. (Also Gaara, like many Southeastern European men, is somehow much handsomer in profile. I do not understand this phenomenon at all.)
No Fucks Given
There’s really not a lot to say about this category. T-shirts, basketball shorts, bland button-ups, inappropriate amounts of hair on the face or head . . . eh. Like I’m all about normcore but it’s pretty hard to make jokes about guys my age dressing like guys I went to high school with.
Normally, I am the only person in Twitch chat who cares which players are the cutest. However, when Lothar played this Saturday, we learned that, at least sometimes, they got eyes:
(Thanks to Twitter user @CanFo for screenshotting chat, I wasn’t there at the time.)
Like, seriously, if you saw this guy on the street, and you had to guess if he’s a model or a pro gamer, would YOU guess correctly? By the way, I highly recommend following Lothar (@lotharhs) on Twitter. It turns out he does have a girlfriend but he tweets a decent amount of pictures of himself, none of them really show his tattoo clearly though.
Oh, also, he has a Planetkey Dynamics jersey he has to wear. Fortunately it’s pretty flattering.
I have been critical of Savjz in the past for wearing t-shirts that are too big. However, his new Curse t-shirt made its television debut in Bucharest, and I’m happy to report that it fits him very well. (Very hard to screenshot moments that show this, because everyone spent almost all their time on camera sitting, but trust me. It looks good.) He also finally got a haircut, and remembered to shave before going on television, so maybe he actually did follow my advice? His posture is still not great though.
The casters were going on and on about Savjz’s poker face but, I dunno, sure seems to me like he wears his heart on his sleeve. Every time he loses I just want to hug him, and it’s also pretty adorable when he wins. I’m not just sad when he loses because he’s my favorite; I’m sad when he loses because I won’t have anything to add to my collection of happy Savjz gifs. (So far there is only one gif, from Korea, but I’m sure someday I will make more.)
Incidentally, Savjz is the person I probably disagree with Twitch chat most about. They always think he sounds like a robot, whereas Finnish accents are my new favorite. Also he calls the Highmane Mufasa, which I’ve been doing since like October, so it really seems like we have a lot in common.
Though Kripp and Gnimsh usually give no fucks about how they look–I know you can’t see it in this picture, but they are both grown-ass men with buzz cuts–they do an excellent job modeling these adorable hats while waiting for technical difficulties to be resolved. I guess the hats are League of Legends themed, but Kripp’s hat is in fact the perfect opportunity to make a Hungry Crab joke. And while I’m not entirely sure what kind of pose Gnimsh is trying to strike here, I’m pretty sure that it WORKS.
For some reason, everybody is super into Reynad‘s hair, and I’m not entire sure why. Nerds think it looks like Edward from Twilight, which, maybe but he uses a lot less product. (I believe his “hair care” tips from his AMA were “conditioner + blowdry,” whereas Robert Pattinson definitely uses product.) However he did attempt to not squish the poof with his headphones at the beginning of his first match, which shows an impressive dedication to his vanity. I think I approve.
But I dunno, I just don’t find Reynad that exciting. Like, nineteen-year-old Eleanor would have been all over that shit, but my taste in men has undergone a pretty radical shift recently away from “cocky asshole” and towards “dorky yet handsome.” It might be an ovaries thing.
Skullflight is an unknown Romanian player who got on TV because he happened to lose to somebody famous. However, to me he is notable for having the most majestical hair of all time. I’m surprised no hyenas took this Lion King’s place after his defeat.
Sadly, partly because of the choice to broadcast all the first- and second-round games of “Seeded” (skilled and well-known) players, there wasn’t time to broadcast even both semi-final matches. Gaara did end up winning, and all of his matches were casted, but who knows what amazing storylines, outfits, and hairdos we missed in the other brackets? Some guy I’d never heard of might have turned out to be even handsomer than Savjz or Lothar. ANYTHING can happen in Hearthstone.